Hey Everybody!
I have not forgotten about you or this blog but I did want you to know that I have been posting my Quick Thoughts reviews to the new Stardust App. https://stardust.app.link/Invite
You can find me on the app under the user name Bwater42. I highly recommend the app as I am personally having a ton of fun posting quick reviews.
As a quick update, I am planning a few articles for the year so expect those at some point as I never have a specified schedule for these. My next article will be Star Trek related so look forward to that.
Best Wishes,
-The Guide
Guide to Geekdom
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Top 10 Undead Characters
Welcome back faithful readers and Happy Halloween. I know
I haven’t been the most active writer this year and many would assume me dead
but I’d crawl out of any grave just to make sure my Halloween special was
finished on time. Speaking of undead…blah blah blah tie in to topic of list
blah blah blah here are my honorable mentions:
-Kai (Lexx)
-Simon William Garth (Zombie)
-Ryuma (One Piece)
-Simon William Garth (Zombie)
-Ryuma (One Piece)
Without further delay, here are my Top 10 Undead
Characters:
10
-Billy Butcherson (Hocus Pocus)
Billy was a dumb sap who decided to date a witch and then
cheat on said witch with her sister. Not sure how someone makes such a
critically poor error of judgment like that but Billy paid the price when the
witch, Winifred, killed him and sowed his mouth shut. Now when Winifred needs a
body to do some dirty work she resurrects Billy to do her biding. I’d have pity
but he seems to have made all the wrong choices.
9 –Olivia
Moore (iZOMBIE)
Life sure sucks when you’re dead. Liv was converted into
a zombie at a party and now has to eat brains every so often to avoid going
brainless herself. Luckily working at a morgue makes access to brains super
easy. Even better, eaten brains gives her some of the memories of the dead
granted her the ability to see hints as to the victim's murder. Gee it’s almost
like this is the perfect set up for a quirky detective show or something.
8 -Lee
Pai Long (Shaman King)
Being one of the world’s greatest martial artists will
get you noticed by people, especially the wrong kind of people. The Toa Family
of shamanic assassins had great interest in poor Lee and decided to murder him.
The family then proceeded to resurrect him as an undead cyborg to act as a body
guard for their youngest daughter Jun. Eventually though; Lee would break free
of the mind control but decide to stay on as Jun’s undead guard so that he
could continue training in martial arts well beyond his death.
7 -Cervantes
de León (Soul Calibur)
Cervantes was once a terrible pirate of the high seas who
was made even more powerful with the cursed blade Soul Edge. However being an
all powerful tyrant makes you a massive target for noble knights and Cervantes’
reign of terror was ended. At least it would have been had a fragment of the Soul
Edge not broken off inside Cervantes and resurrected him allowing him to roam
the seas as an undead pirate.
6
-Solomon Grundy (Batman)
Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday, Christened on Tuesday, Married
on Wednesday, Took ill on Thursday, Grew worse on Friday, Died on Saturday, Buried
on Sunday, That was the end of Solomon Grundy. Or at least it would have been
were he not a recurring zombie juggernaut villain for Batman. These things
happen you know.
5
-Sid Barrett (Soul Eater)
In life Sid was a well liked and friendly instructor…at
the Death Scythe Meister Academy that helps train grim reapers and their
weapons…..so friendly. Though after being IMPALED IN THE HEAD BY A STATUE OF
LIBERTY REPLICA Sid ends up dying. That would not be the end of Sid however as
fellow teacher Dr. Stein retrieved the body and was kind enough to bring him
back to life as a zombie where he then proceeded to help train new reapers to
this day.
4
-Eric Draven (The Crow)
When the dead cannot rest and unfinished vengeance is not
yet sated, the crow shall come to raise the dead and grant them the ability to
seek out the personal justice they were unable to achieve before death. Eric is
one such individual reborn by the power of the crow allowing him to go on a
vast murder spree killing everyone involved with the death of his fiancé as
well as himself.
3
-Reaper (Overwatch)
Gabriel Reyes was once known as one of the world’s
greatest heroes but due to a difference of opinion as well as pursuit, Reyes
ended up betraying most of his allies in a coup. However karma had other plans
for Reyes as the betrayal led to his death and rebirth as an undead mercenary
for the terrorist organization Talon. Fueled with a need for revenge Reyes now
plots the ultimate destruction of all of his former friends.
2 –
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th series)
What once started as a series about a grotesque serial
killer with a vendetta against camp counselors eventually become the story of
an undead juggernaut grotesque serial killer who has a vendetta against most
teenagers/people in general. In his many journeys ranging from Manhattan to
Hell to Space one thing has remained fairly clear: Jason doesn’t die and if you
think he is dead you are wrong, dead wrong.
1
-Frankenstein’s Monster
“Look!
It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive, it's
moving, it's alive, it's alive,it's alive, it's alive, IT'S
ALIVE!”
The infamous tale of Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his
pursuit to beat death with his own creation is a story you would be hard
pressed to find someone who hasn’t heard it. Dr. Frankenstein attempted to
become god by creating life from the assembled parts of various corpses he
sewed together. Only once the creature turns on him does he realize his error. One
of the most classic monsters ever put to literature, Frankenstein’s Monster is
a triumph and icon of the horror genre.
Thanks for reading and Happy Halloween.
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Quick Thoughts on Dunkirk
I honestly don’t have anything bad to say about this
movie. The film avoided large amounts of dialogue so that it could convey the
majority of its story and tension through the visuals alone and the visuals are
just simply wonderful. There is brilliant subtlety to every character's movements and expressions. Tension is also hiked up through the magnificent
soundtrack which almost always sounds like a ticking clock which always keeps
the tension on a tight edge. I absolutely loved every moment of this film and I'm really happy I got to see it.
I truly can’t recommend this film enough. Go see this movie…..Now. 10/10
Quick Thoughts on War for the Planet of the Apes
Have you ever wondered how to write the third film in a
trilogy? Many writers typically like to view a trilogy as a 3 act structure.
You have the introduction, the escalation, and the resolution. While this film
is definitely a resolution to this trilogy I do feel it suffers what most
trilogies suffer from and that is that it peaked on the second act. It’s easier
to build up to a massive world ending war than it is to actually have it as a
film. Don’t get me wrong, this film is amazing and you should go see it, but I
do feel like it is missing a necessary oomph that the 2nd film
provided.
Overall I really liked this film and it was a fantastic
conclusion to this reboot series. 8/10
Quick Thoughts on Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
I really wanted to like this film and there is a lot that
I did enjoy however the plot was not one of them. I’d say it almost feels like
the movie gets bored with its own main plot and regularly finds itself getting
distracted with something else. More than once I had to re-ask myself how did
we get to this point in the film. The main problem is that the main plot is an
investigation mystery and as an audience member I figured out what was going on
really early so the film not coming back to that plot until near the end just
feels like they were avoiding the resolution to add more padding.
There are some great sci-fi concepts and very visually
beautiful scenes in this film unfortunately those are bogged down by an overly
long film that is bloated with too many plot threads. 6/10
Saturday, July 8, 2017
The Age of Spider-Man: a Spider-Man Homecoming review
I spent a
great deal of time before Spider-Man Homecoming came out declaring loudly why I
was going to hate this film. Some will say that I was over the top and overly
dramatic with my opinion and blew things way out of proportion and you would
not be wrong. I think initial anger at a trailer will never lead you to your
true opinion and I often tell people that I rewatch films multiple times solely
because I know my opinions will change on a film the more times I view it.
Having
watched the film now I can honestly say I’m not going to tell you it’s a bad
film simply because that is untrue. You can go into a film and force yourself
to hate it but that isn’t going to give you an unbiased view of it. Though I
had many pre-viewing ramblings about the film and its issues I can tell you
that the reasons I knew I was going to be unsatisfied with the final product
are true even after watching it.
I predicted
that my problems with the film were going to be that they stuck Spider-Man in
High school again and that they were also making him a pseudo-sidekick to Iron
Man. Very much so, these two things stick out as a problem, yet despite these plot
points I will still tell you that this is a wonderful film and you should go
see it. In fact in my opinion there was really only 1 terrible scene in the
whole feature.
They end up
recreating a scene from Ferris Bueller’s
Day Off then show the actual scene they are copying on someone’s TV before
continuing to copy the scene. I feel like you just don’t need to show your
reference work in-movie and it struck me as a bad idea. (I’m getting off topic,
hold on)
I think what
I’m experiencing for the first time is that this is no longer my era. I had my
Spider-Man growing up. He was and still is my favorite hero. He was a college
student who was working multiple jobs just trying to make ends meet and not
succeeding very often. As with many long lived superhero figures they go through
different times and ages. The Spider-Man I read as a kid, his time has passed. Maybe
Spider-Man needs to be a High schooler again; maybe he does need to be Iron Man’s
apprentice. I don’t know, I’ll never tell you I understand kids these days.
Somewhere
out there is a kid who is watching this film and is excited to see his version
of Spider-Man up on the big screen. I can’t
fault a film for not giving me my version amongst the hundreds of versions
that are already out there. There are a lot of things I actually really like about this film and really enjoyed getting to see.
I’ve had a lot of people tell me lately that I’m never
satisfied or happy with films or television and I tell them that can’t be true because I love film so much. Yet I haven’t put out a review in a really long time and it
was mostly because I found myself really unsatisfied with movies lately. I wasn’t
finding my muse to talk about them. I think I need to really change my
perspective on how I view films and go about reviewing them. (Hence the reason
for a long-winded speech instead of the usual fanfare)
I probably
would have previously given a poor review based on it missing what I want out
of a Spider-Man film but I don’t think that is fair. Out of sheer irony I
realized I was becoming J. Jonah Jameson, calling this Spider-Man a menace. This is a very good film and you
should go watch it. I think it’s great that Marvel and Sony were able to make a
deal to get this film green lit. I don’t think we would have gotten another
solid Spider-Man out of Sony without it and I'm excited to see what becomes of the property in the future.
I’m not sure when my next review will
be but I hope that it will be a shorter timelaspe than this last one.
Thanks for
reading.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Top 10 Dark Lords of Magic
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! I bet you thought I forgot all
about you and had moved onto other things…..well I try to write when I can……but
it would pain me to no end if I forgot to do my Halloween Holiday special. So
here we are….what to do…..if only I could make a list appear like magic…..and
to heck with all that build up, here are my Top 10 Dark Lords of Magic! (not
really doing a great job with the rules on this one but let’s role with it)
Before I start here are a few honorable mentions:
-Loki (Thor)
-Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd (Power Rangers)
-Jareth the Goblin King (Labyrinth)
Now onto the main event:
10-Wicked
Witch of the West (Wizard of Oz)
Nothing quite beats a classic villain (and nothing quite
feels as satisfying as snubbing every single Loki fan than by stating that the
Wicked Witch is better). To be fair here, the Wicked Witch has everything that
Loki can’t really accomplish. She has a kingdom, a legion of loyal warriors (or
at least scared enough not to question) and she can even write letters in the
sky with her broomstick. It really is hard to say that she doesn’t have
everything….I mean other than ruby slippers or a questionable weakness to
water.
9-Dormammu
(Doctor Strange)
Now you face The Dread Dormammu! Not saying that Doctor
Strange doesn’t have a wide range of recognizable villains, but at least some
people are mildly aware of Dormammu. Ruling upon a plane of existence forged
entirely out of dark magic with an appearance that would drive some insane,
Dormammu wages war on our dimension but is regularly bested by the Sorcerer
Supremes. Despite this, Dormammu is an ageless being and if he cannot beat
Earth’s Sorcerers through combat he can always beat them through…the waiting
game. Fear in terror as The Dread Dormammu patiently waits for old age to take
you down. BWAHAHA!....or something.
8-Maleficent
(Sleeping Beauty)
I know what you’re thinking ‘but the new film showed she
was a good character all along and that she had been horribly wronged’ and to
that I say I’m not talking about the new film I’m talking about the original
Disney character the one who would curse you with all the powers of Hell! I
loved Maleficent in this movie. She is literally evil for the sake of being evil.
The only reason any of the events happen is because she got snubbed a birthday
party invite. Whimsically evil.
7-The
Lich (Adventure Time)
“THE LICH KING IS NOT FUNNY’ is probably the best lines
ever written about this character. In a series that can go from absolute
nonsense to OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD in two seconds flat really has The Lich
to thank for that. Every single time this character appears someone either dies
or something in the series is changed dramatically. Little is known about the
character other than he was somehow spawned from the bomb in the Mushroom War.
The Lich is solely driven towards the end of everything. In a show that is
about nothing, The Lich is one of the few plot movers but always in the most
terrifying of ways.
6 -The
White Witch (Chronicles of Narnia)
Jadis, better known as the White Witch, is very similar
to the Wicked Witch. She has a kingdom, legions of followers who are more
afraid than loyal, but the true difference between the characters comes
entirely through power. The White Witch was able to cast the land of Narnia
into a 100 year winter, ruling over the land with a terrifying might. Most
notable is her wand which has the ability to transform anyone to stone. Thank
god we have super magical Lions and prophecy children to make things right….as
you do.
5 -Emperor
Palpatine (Star Wars)
And to the large group of people who stood up immediately
to protest, I have this to say: we’re all entitled to our own opinions and I
think that Jedi and Sith qualify as space wizards…..so there. With that in mind
I would be absolutely remised if I didn’t include the Emperor. Darth Sidious
has a heck of an all-encompassing, slow-burn, take over the entire universe
schemes, but I think it says a lot when we realize his plan ended up working.
He did take over the galaxy with absolute power for many years. If he was a bit
smarter with his apprentice he would have continued to rule for many more
years.
4 -Lord
Voldemort (Harry Potter)
‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’ ‘You-Know-Who’ ‘The Dark Lord’
or better known as Tom, is one of the wizarding world’s most devastating dark
wizard. When people are even too scared to say your name, for fear of being
cursed somehow, is a good sign that you’re a pretty powerful warlock. If I
really had to think of one major fault to good ol’ Voldy it’s that he found out
about a prophecy to end him and decided to go out of his way to stop the prophecy from
happening. Look…trying to stop the prophecy from happening always makes it
happen…….it’s like a finger trap that way.
3 -Ganon
(Legend of Zelda)
Or better known now as Ganondorf, is an incarnation of
the Demon King, Demise, who will ALWAYS reincarnate eventually. As far as
curses go having a never ending warlock re-incarnate every few years is a
pretty potent one. When you think about magic users the first thing that comes
to mind is rather studious book-ish types who prefer to spend their hours
locked away in a library tower. Alternatively, Ganondorf is a hulking beast on
the battlefield, and at times literally IS a beast when he takes on his demonic
boar form.
2-Morgan
le Fay
When we think about dark magic users one of the first
characters that came to mind was Morgan le Fay. This character has been adapted
time and time again. Sometimes they don’t even tie in the King Arthur stuff and
just have a really powerful sorceress named Morgana. Possibly Arthur’s
half-sister, possibly Merlin’s apprentice; Morgan le Fay has been around long
enough that were just not sure which interpretation is correct. An icon of the
dark wizard trope, there is no denying that Morgan le Fay belongs at the top of
this list…is what I would have said were it not that I felt there was ONE who
stood above them all.
1 -Sauron
(Lord of the Rings)
“Three
Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their
halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his
dark throne. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to Rule them
all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind
them. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”
I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I am
familiar with the extensive back-history of Tolkien’s epic fantasy series, nor
am I going to pretend that I fully understand everything that is going on, but
I cannot deny the power of Sauron. From my brief delves into the story-at-large,
I understand that Sauron isn’t even the first evil to appear, but I did grow up
watching the film franchise and loving every second of it. Maybe someday I will
dive deeper and have a better comprehension of the events going on but for now
I cannot imagine putting Sauron anywhere else on this list…..he is…precious to
me……..my precious……..
…………………….
….And with that bit of silly melodrama out of the way, I
bid you all a Happy Halloween!
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