Friday, April 1, 2016

Top 10 Fictional Clowns

Here I am magically with another article to give you all and here you thought I was joking about wanting to start writing again. Well of course I should be joking around as it is April Fool’s Day. As such I would like to take this time to celebrate some of the greatest clowns in fiction…it’s a shame that most clowns in fiction are merciless villains. As per usual I give you a few runner-ups before starting the list proper:

-Krusty the Clown (The Simpsons)
-Ronald McDonald
-Mimey (Pokémon)

Now then ladies and gentlemen let’s begin the Top 10 Fictional Clowns!

10 - Jack-in-the-Box (Astro City)

Jack Johnson was a denizen of Astro City who ended up making it big in the toy industry, though little did he know that toy industry, Whamco Corp, were using his eccentric inventions to conduct crime. Disgusted by this, Jack combined his inventions into an arsenal of justice and took down Whamco, thus becoming the costumed crime fighter known as Jack-in-the-Box. Jack eventually perished but his superhero legacy lived on in his son and several others.

9 - Pennywise the Dancing Clown (It)

There are, of course, way too many horror movies that star demonic clowns as the main monster but nothing will ever quite beat out Pennywise.  Little is known about Pennywise other than he is an ancient creature born before time itself in an alternate dimension known as the Deadlights. Since arriving on Earth, Pennywise spends his time alternating between hibernating and feeding on people. Pennywise isn’t even its real name, it just happens to take the form of a demonic clown to lure children in and to psychologically break previous survivors.

8 - Piedmon (Digimon)

Piedmon is the leader of the Dark Masters, a group of four extremely powerful warriors created by Apocalymon for the sole purpose of conquering, destroying, and overall warping the Digital World. Out of all the Dark Masters, Piedmon has the least amount of follows, not because he can’t find them but rather because he doesn’t really need them. If Piedmon is going to go out and fight the battle will be over shortly. The only reason he lost is because….well I mean who really thought an Archangel was going to sudden appear and smite him…..I mean really.

7 - The Clown (Hawkeye)

“I told you…I came from hell.”

Probably the most recent character on this list, Kazimierz Kazimierczak was just your typically young circus boy when tragedy struck and his entire circus family was murdered. After coming to America, tragedy struck again when he lost his best friend in an explosion. Both of these incidents broke Kazimierz’s mind and he started killing for apparently nothing. Either way his skills in murder allowed him to become a prominent assassin in the criminal underworld, which is saying something when the vast majority of super villains in the Marvel criminal underworld are nothing but assassins.

6 - Marx (Kirby)

“I got the sun and moon to fight. I got you to go into space... it was all according to my perfect little plan.”

Marx was just a simple jester who pleaded with Kirby to help the land of Popstar and stop the Sun and the Moon from fighting. Little did Kirby know that it was all Marx’s fault from the start. When Kirby gathered the power to summon the great wish granted comet known as Nova, he was suddenly pushed out of the way by Marx who then wishes for the power to control Popstar for himself. Luckily for us the pink star warrior was able to summon enough strength to destroy the now godlike Marx….not that it will ever stop him from coming back.

5 - The Violator (Spawn)

The Violator is a guide for new Hellspawn arrivals on Earth, utilizing his demonic powers and abilities to lead them down the path of ruin. He honestly takes great pleasure in torturing and breaking new recruits for the underworlds army. Violator doesn’t care for their lot as he believes that humanity is overall too weak and that the armies of hell should be lead by the demons that rule there. If Violator is so powerful and strong it simply leaves one question to mind. Why take the form of a short obese clown?  

4 - Buggy the Clown (One Piece)

Buggy is by far one of the most useless and powerless villains in the One Piece universe. Despite that, Buggy is also one of the most recurring villain characters and is strangely connected with every major important character by some degree. In a get-rich-quick-scheme, Buggy stole a devil fruit with the plans to sell it but after being startled accidentally ate it, gaining the powers of the Chop Chop Fruit. With these powers in hand Buggy has started his mediocre crusade to command all the oceans.  Regardless of his setbacks Buggy will always aim for more power and more gold.

3 - Kefka Palazzo (Final Fantasy VI)

Kefka is the main antagonist in Final Fantasy VI and is one of the most popular villains in the entire franchise, most place him second only to FFVII ‘s Sephiroth. Kefka originally appears as the court mage for Emperor Gestahl, though this sadistic clown’s thirst for more power would not be quenched by that position for very long. Kefka simply enjoys killing because it’s fun and once he gains the power of gods he quite literally destroys the world and becomes king of the ruined wasteland left in his wake.

2 - Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)

Hisoka is a fighting obsessive monster. He has no real character motivation at all except for the sole desire to fight stronger opponents. Hisoka will regularly leave victims alive if he sees potential in the skills. This is because he hopes that they will become stronger and eventually come after him seeking out vengeance. Hisoka honestly doesn’t care about choosing sides or what’s going on; so long as he gets to fight the strongest out there he will be ultimately satisfied.

1 - The Joker (Batman)

“…you of all people should know, there’s plenty wrong with me.”

If for one second you thought anyone else should or could ever be on the top of this list other than the Joker, then I honestly don’t know what you were thinking. This character is the Clown Prince of Crime but even more so he is THE TOP CLOWN OF FICTION. He nails all the tropes of being sadistically evil while at the same time having the darkest sense of humor that you can’t help but laugh at during certain moments. For how amazing Batman is at being a hero, Joker will always be his dark reflection epitomizing everything that makes a super villain spectacular.