Sunday, October 30, 2016

Top 10 Dark Lords of Magic

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! I bet you thought I forgot all about you and had moved onto other things…..well I try to write when I can……but it would pain me to no end if I forgot to do my Halloween Holiday special. So here we are….what to do…..if only I could make a list appear like magic…..and to heck with all that build up, here are my Top 10 Dark Lords of Magic! (not really doing a great job with the rules on this one but let’s role with it) Before I start here are a few honorable mentions:
-Loki (Thor)
-Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd (Power Rangers)
-Jareth the Goblin King (Labyrinth)
Now onto the main event:

10-Wicked Witch of the West (Wizard of Oz)

Nothing quite beats a classic villain (and nothing quite feels as satisfying as snubbing every single Loki fan than by stating that the Wicked Witch is better). To be fair here, the Wicked Witch has everything that Loki can’t really accomplish. She has a kingdom, a legion of loyal warriors (or at least scared enough not to question) and she can even write letters in the sky with her broomstick. It really is hard to say that she doesn’t have everything….I mean other than ruby slippers or a questionable weakness to water.

9-Dormammu (Doctor Strange)

Now you face The Dread Dormammu! Not saying that Doctor Strange doesn’t have a wide range of recognizable villains, but at least some people are mildly aware of Dormammu. Ruling upon a plane of existence forged entirely out of dark magic with an appearance that would drive some insane, Dormammu wages war on our dimension but is regularly bested by the Sorcerer Supremes. Despite this, Dormammu is an ageless being and if he cannot beat Earth’s Sorcerers through combat he can always beat them through…the waiting game. Fear in terror as The Dread Dormammu patiently waits for old age to take you down. BWAHAHA!....or something.

8-Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)

I know what you’re thinking ‘but the new film showed she was a good character all along and that she had been horribly wronged’ and to that I say I’m not talking about the new film I’m talking about the original Disney character the one who would curse you with all the powers of Hell! I loved Maleficent in this movie. She is literally evil for the sake of being evil. The only reason any of the events happen is because she got snubbed a birthday party invite. Whimsically evil.

7-The Lich (Adventure Time)

“THE LICH KING IS NOT FUNNY’ is probably the best lines ever written about this character. In a series that can go from absolute nonsense to OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD in two seconds flat really has The Lich to thank for that. Every single time this character appears someone either dies or something in the series is changed dramatically. Little is known about the character other than he was somehow spawned from the bomb in the Mushroom War. The Lich is solely driven towards the end of everything. In a show that is about nothing, The Lich is one of the few plot movers but always in the most terrifying of ways.

6 -The White Witch (Chronicles of Narnia)

Jadis, better known as the White Witch, is very similar to the Wicked Witch. She has a kingdom, legions of followers who are more afraid than loyal, but the true difference between the characters comes entirely through power. The White Witch was able to cast the land of Narnia into a 100 year winter, ruling over the land with a terrifying might. Most notable is her wand which has the ability to transform anyone to stone. Thank god we have super magical Lions and prophecy children to make things right….as you do.

5 -Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars)

And to the large group of people who stood up immediately to protest, I have this to say: we’re all entitled to our own opinions and I think that Jedi and Sith qualify as space wizards… there. With that in mind I would be absolutely remised if I didn’t include the Emperor. Darth Sidious has a heck of an all-encompassing, slow-burn, take over the entire universe schemes, but I think it says a lot when we realize his plan ended up working. He did take over the galaxy with absolute power for many years. If he was a bit smarter with his apprentice he would have continued to rule for many more years.   

4 -Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter)

‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’ ‘You-Know-Who’ ‘The Dark Lord’ or better known as Tom, is one of the wizarding world’s most devastating dark wizard. When people are even too scared to say your name, for fear of being cursed somehow, is a good sign that you’re a pretty powerful warlock. If I really had to think of one major fault to good ol’ Voldy it’s that he found out about a prophecy to end him and decided to go out of his way to stop the prophecy from happening. Look…trying to stop the prophecy from happening always makes it happen…….it’s like a finger trap that way.

3 -Ganon (Legend of Zelda)

Or better known now as Ganondorf, is an incarnation of the Demon King, Demise, who will ALWAYS reincarnate eventually. As far as curses go having a never ending warlock re-incarnate every few years is a pretty potent one. When you think about magic users the first thing that comes to mind is rather studious book-ish types who prefer to spend their hours locked away in a library tower. Alternatively, Ganondorf is a hulking beast on the battlefield, and at times literally IS a beast when he takes on his demonic boar form.

2-Morgan le Fay

When we think about dark magic users one of the first characters that came to mind was Morgan le Fay. This character has been adapted time and time again. Sometimes they don’t even tie in the King Arthur stuff and just have a really powerful sorceress named Morgana. Possibly Arthur’s half-sister, possibly Merlin’s apprentice; Morgan le Fay has been around long enough that were just not sure which interpretation is correct. An icon of the dark wizard trope, there is no denying that Morgan le Fay belongs at the top of this list…is what I would have said were it not that I felt there was ONE who stood above them all.

1 -Sauron (Lord of the Rings)

“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I am familiar with the extensive back-history of Tolkien’s epic fantasy series, nor am I going to pretend that I fully understand everything that is going on, but I cannot deny the power of Sauron. From my brief delves into the story-at-large, I understand that Sauron isn’t even the first evil to appear, but I did grow up watching the film franchise and loving every second of it. Maybe someday I will dive deeper and have a better comprehension of the events going on but for now I cannot imagine putting Sauron anywhere else on this list…..he is…precious to me…… precious……..

….And with that bit of silly melodrama out of the way, I bid you all a Happy Halloween! 

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